Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Pet. 4:8
Ask God to help you make charitable judgments about others. (Charitable simply means “loving.”) Making a charitable judgment means that out of love for God you strive to believe the best about others until you have facts to prove otherwise. In other words, if you can reasonably interpret what someone has said or done in two possible ways, God calls you to embrace the positive interpretation over the negative, or at least to postpone making any judgment at all until you can acquire conclusive facts (see 1 Cor. 13:6; Matt. 7:12; 22:39; James 4:11-12).
Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) pp. 170-171.
-Food for Thought-
Observing others' actions is like being handed a tube of oil paint and a brush and then painting their portraits. If an action was offensive to us, our sinful tendency is to use that single incident's "color" to paint an entire portrait of their character. We may do this because we don't know that person well enough to have many other colors and brush sizes, but it is more likely we generalize such incidents to cover their whole character in order to justify keeping them at a distance.Is that how you want others to paint your portrait?Let me suggest three alternatives.
Neutral – Admit your ignorance of that person's character and leave parts of the portrait blank.
Positive – Recall the good you know about that person so that your portrait of him or her will be more accurate.
Gracious – Trust God that he is at work in that person. Fill in the blank part of others' portraits with God's good intentions for them. Even more, go one step further and paint over the real smudges and blemishes with the colors of grace.
-Scott HaydenBangkok, Thailand
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Life Changing Questions
In my quiet time the other day the Lord gave me the most amazing questions to ask myself :
1. How can I glorify God in my marriage today?
2. How an I glorify God with my kids today?
3. How can I glorify God is this day today?
4. How can I pray for my husband today?
If you base your day on these questions alone- our days might look a little different than we're used to. Things that we thought were priorities are now just not that important.
In my time with the Lord today:
1. I can glorify the Lord by releasing Dan to God. Releasing any worry or anger . Love him as my closest neighbor (love your neighbor as yourself). Trust God to work in Dan's life and wait on the Lord.
2. I can glorify God with my kids by reacting patiently. Putting on gentleness and kindness. Fully participate in their lives. Be a good example.
3. "Be consistent. Remember you don't have to be tough. You are strong because that is the way I have made you. Just be you. Bring beauty to your surroundings. Bring consistency and balance to your life. People will be drawn to consistency and balance and beauty."
God can be trusted. Can I? -ouch!
*consistency: marked by harmony, regularity, free from contradiction; compatible
Whew- some powerful and deep things from the Lord the last few days.
Blessings.....
1. How can I glorify God in my marriage today?
2. How an I glorify God with my kids today?
3. How can I glorify God is this day today?
4. How can I pray for my husband today?
If you base your day on these questions alone- our days might look a little different than we're used to. Things that we thought were priorities are now just not that important.
In my time with the Lord today:
1. I can glorify the Lord by releasing Dan to God. Releasing any worry or anger . Love him as my closest neighbor (love your neighbor as yourself). Trust God to work in Dan's life and wait on the Lord.
2. I can glorify God with my kids by reacting patiently. Putting on gentleness and kindness. Fully participate in their lives. Be a good example.
3. "Be consistent. Remember you don't have to be tough. You are strong because that is the way I have made you. Just be you. Bring beauty to your surroundings. Bring consistency and balance to your life. People will be drawn to consistency and balance and beauty."
God can be trusted. Can I? -ouch!
*consistency: marked by harmony, regularity, free from contradiction; compatible
Whew- some powerful and deep things from the Lord the last few days.
Blessings.....
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Is There Someone You're Trying To Change?
Whenever you are trying to show someone his fault, remember that there are limits to what you can accomplish. You can raise concerns, suggest solutions, and encourage reasonable thinking, but you cannot force change. God may use you as a spokesperson to bring certain issues to the attention of another person, but only God can penetrate the other person's heart and bring about repentance. Paul clearly describes this division of labor in 2 Timothy 2:24-26: "And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will" (emphasis added).
(Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 182.)
Food for Thought-
Is there someone you're trying to change? Here's some biblical counsel: Stop! You may want to take a moment to write these words down on a note card and tape it to your mirror so that you see it every morning:
MY JOB: To speak the truth in love
GOD'S JOB: To change people
Our sense of what's "workable" or "practical" may be our biggest enemy in biblical peacemaking. God doesn't call us to be peacemakers in a given situation because it "works" (though often it does--even in ways we can never imagine); God calls us to be peacemakers so that people can see Christ in us. So next time you're in a conflict and in thinking about peacemaking you find yourself tempted to say, "Well, that'll never work in this case!", remember the difference between God's job description and your own.
-Peacemaker Ministries
(Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 182.)
Food for Thought-
Is there someone you're trying to change? Here's some biblical counsel: Stop! You may want to take a moment to write these words down on a note card and tape it to your mirror so that you see it every morning:
MY JOB: To speak the truth in love
GOD'S JOB: To change people
Our sense of what's "workable" or "practical" may be our biggest enemy in biblical peacemaking. God doesn't call us to be peacemakers in a given situation because it "works" (though often it does--even in ways we can never imagine); God calls us to be peacemakers so that people can see Christ in us. So next time you're in a conflict and in thinking about peacemaking you find yourself tempted to say, "Well, that'll never work in this case!", remember the difference between God's job description and your own.
-Peacemaker Ministries
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Don't Fight Fire With Fire
I get some of the best emails from Peacemaker Ministries. Everyone has to do deal with conflict in their life and handling conflict in a Christ-like way - to me is so important because it reflects Jesus to others.
Don't Fight Fire with Fire
In responding to an angry reaction, remember that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1). Respond to anger with a gentle voice, relaxed posture, and calm gestures. Communicate in every way that you take the other's expression of anger seriously and want to help resolve the problems that prompt it. Plan ahead how to respond to possible objections and deal with them specifically and reasonably.
Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 178.
Food for Thought-
If you're counting on excellent self-control or a naturally sunny disposition to keep you from responding harshly to a burst of anger from someone else today, you're drawing from an awfully shallow well. Chances are your "well of gentleness" will run dry ... at exactly the worst moment.
The source of the "gentle answer" to anger that's recommended in Proverbs isn't you at all. It is none other than Christ, as he desires to make an appeal through us precisely at the moment that another unloads anger. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, "All this"--including the ability to respond to anger with a gentle answer--"is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a blast of anger today, don't rely on yourself to respond gently. Instead, pray briefly, then invite Christ to make his appeal through you. As Paul notes, God has committed the message of reconciliation to you; it is your birthright as a Christian. Far more reliable than your own pleasant demeanor, it is a constant within you. Pray for God's guidance to draw upon it even in the most trying circumstances.
Blessings....
Don't Fight Fire with Fire
In responding to an angry reaction, remember that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1). Respond to anger with a gentle voice, relaxed posture, and calm gestures. Communicate in every way that you take the other's expression of anger seriously and want to help resolve the problems that prompt it. Plan ahead how to respond to possible objections and deal with them specifically and reasonably.
Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 178.
Food for Thought-
If you're counting on excellent self-control or a naturally sunny disposition to keep you from responding harshly to a burst of anger from someone else today, you're drawing from an awfully shallow well. Chances are your "well of gentleness" will run dry ... at exactly the worst moment.
The source of the "gentle answer" to anger that's recommended in Proverbs isn't you at all. It is none other than Christ, as he desires to make an appeal through us precisely at the moment that another unloads anger. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, "All this"--including the ability to respond to anger with a gentle answer--"is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a blast of anger today, don't rely on yourself to respond gently. Instead, pray briefly, then invite Christ to make his appeal through you. As Paul notes, God has committed the message of reconciliation to you; it is your birthright as a Christian. Far more reliable than your own pleasant demeanor, it is a constant within you. Pray for God's guidance to draw upon it even in the most trying circumstances.
Blessings....
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Here I am again....
I have too many things I'd like to share and there isn't room to share them all on Facebook. So here I am again :)
I don't have much time these days- with wedding plans for Arielle, homeschooling McKenna, making plans to possibly homeschool CJ and Kenna next year, trying to get back in shape at the gym, grading Kumon papers :/ keeping up with housework, and much more. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to share what's on my heart :)
O, by the way, Arielle recorded her first song yesterday. It's a song she wrote for Jay called 'Honey'. I think Dan and I have listened to it about 25 times already :) She will record 2 more songs soon and then she'll have a decent demo.
During these busy seasons- don't you often feel guilty because you just don't have as much time to spend in the quiet with the Lord like usual. I know it's just a short season. It's about trusting God to still be where you are. Trusting that what He's taught you will get you through these next few weeks or months. Just like the song by Shane and Shane talks about "I Miss You"- I miss my intimate time of showering my love on Him and being able to dine with Him. It's just little tastes here and there for now. But I know it's temporary. He is so good to be patient with me. He is more patient with me than I am! :)
I listened to a sermon yesterday that so reminded me that I want to be cherished and loved. I think all women long for that. I try to be tough and not admit that- maybe because I think I'll never get it. But I really have to get it through my thick head that Jesus loves me that way. Why is it so hard to accept? He sings over me. I've got to keep reminding myself of that! I am an idiot so much of the time, I guess i think that deserves nothing but consequences. Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our hidden motives (that we may not even know about) yet He loves us. Amazing!!!
Time for some cardio now :)
Blessings....
I don't have much time these days- with wedding plans for Arielle, homeschooling McKenna, making plans to possibly homeschool CJ and Kenna next year, trying to get back in shape at the gym, grading Kumon papers :/ keeping up with housework, and much more. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to share what's on my heart :)
O, by the way, Arielle recorded her first song yesterday. It's a song she wrote for Jay called 'Honey'. I think Dan and I have listened to it about 25 times already :) She will record 2 more songs soon and then she'll have a decent demo.
During these busy seasons- don't you often feel guilty because you just don't have as much time to spend in the quiet with the Lord like usual. I know it's just a short season. It's about trusting God to still be where you are. Trusting that what He's taught you will get you through these next few weeks or months. Just like the song by Shane and Shane talks about "I Miss You"- I miss my intimate time of showering my love on Him and being able to dine with Him. It's just little tastes here and there for now. But I know it's temporary. He is so good to be patient with me. He is more patient with me than I am! :)
I listened to a sermon yesterday that so reminded me that I want to be cherished and loved. I think all women long for that. I try to be tough and not admit that- maybe because I think I'll never get it. But I really have to get it through my thick head that Jesus loves me that way. Why is it so hard to accept? He sings over me. I've got to keep reminding myself of that! I am an idiot so much of the time, I guess i think that deserves nothing but consequences. Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our hidden motives (that we may not even know about) yet He loves us. Amazing!!!
Time for some cardio now :)
Blessings....
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